Part IV: Bay Area Visit -- June 2010

I had been in the Bay Area for nearly a week & had yet to spend any time in San Francisco, something I was to remedy on Friday, 18 June. The para-transit van dropped me off on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley in mid-morning; for the first time in my visit, the weather that day started out less than perfect. Instead, the skies were gray, the temperature chilly, & there was a bit of a breeze. I had borrowed a jacket from Nancy, since I’d brought only a sweater from Boston, but I still felt cold. It was too early for me to buy a scarf from any of the street vendors – I guess their day doesn’t start until closer to noon – I ended up at Walgreens at the corner of Telegraph & Bancroft, right across from Sproul Plaza, where I purchased both an out-of-season scarf & a shawl. Then I took an AC Transit bus to Downtown Berkeley & the BART Station.

When I lived in the Bay Area, I took the BART – Bay Area Rapid Transit – whenever I needed to go into San Francisco or to one of the suburbs. Early one morning on my way into San Francisco to my job at Saint Joseph’s Hospital, I was a passenger on the first non-test-run train to take passengers through the tunnel under the San Francisco Bay. The system has expanded and grown, adding stations and becoming much more complicated. I discovered that the people who run the BART system have the same attitude toward it as New Yorkers do about New York: If one needs to ask, one doesn’t belong on it / in it. The signage in the BART stations is terrible, especially the signage for elevators. There were few indications inside the station concerning which elevator or escalator one should take to go in the any specific direction. Few station maps were posted in the trains, the expectation being, I suppose, that the traveler should have her or his chosen route memorized.

Despite those problems, I felt a bit of a kick being back on the BART, with its smooth ride, its swiftly opening & closing doors, its sleek-looking stations. My first stop amounted to a bit of a pilgrimage, since I went to San Francisco City Hall, the location of innumerable Gay / Lesbian Freedom Day rallies, a number of demonstrations against Prop 6 and after the murders of Mayor George Moscone & Supervisor Harvey Milk (the first openly gay elected city official in the US), & of Joan Baez’s gift of a free concert a month after those horrific murders. San Francisco City Hall was also where my friends Scott & Alan were married. After City Hall, I visited the new & very beautiful San Francisco Public Library, including its special collection & room on GLBT history.

Since the weather had warmed up a bit, I rode from City Hall Plaza to Powell Street where people catch the City’s famous cable cars. I decided to take the BART two stops to Embarcadero and from there to go to the Ferry Building to see the vendors both inside and outside. Outside the street hosts a huge open-air arts fair, with all sorts of mostly very fine works – fabric art, painting, jewelry, and more that I cannot now remember. Inside the Ferry Building, the first floor has a wonderful array of vendors, including Mariposa’s counter (where I bought more g-f baked goods) and, my favorite, a vendor devoted solely to anything and everything having to do with mushrooms! On the way back to the BART station, I stopped to buy gifts for my mother, sister, & cat-caretaker.

There were many places in San Francisco that I didn’t get to on this visit; I’d hoped to go to Ocean Beach to see the seals on Seal Rock. I’d also wanted to return to Buena Vista Avenue to take a look at the buildings that once housed Saint Joseph’s Hospital & nursing school. While the hospital closed in 1978, the buildings have been rehabbed & made into condos. I hope whoever lives there feels very fortunate – they have one of the best views looking East out over San Francisco & toward the East Bay Hills! I had also hoped to get to the Castro District, center of San Francisco’s gay population, & to Mission Dolores where I often stopped to pray after leaving work at St. Joe’s. All of that will be for a future visit.

Instead, I got back on the BART & took it to Rockridge Station. The Rockridge neighborhood is a several block area in Oakland along College Avenue by the BART Station; it has wonderful small shops, including a Body Time store, a comfortable bookstore, & a Trader Joe’s in the building that had been a Lucky Supermarket. In the early- to mid-1980’s, seminarians & faculty of the Southern Province Dominican Order lived in several buildings in the neighborhood just across from the BART Station. Several members of the community came to be very close friends of mine, so I knew the area very well. It was a shock to me when, going down the street where those buildings had stood, I realized that they had been demolished.

I stopped in Trader Joe’s where I bought some flowers and to the Body Time store to buy a gift, then window-shopped before going into the bookstore, Pendragon, where I had brought many used books for both cash & trade. When the van found me to pick me up, I was sitting outside – the clouds had finally dissipated & the sun turned out to be warm & comfortable.

At Nancy’s that evening, rather than go out to eat, Nancy & I put together a simple summer supper of tuna salad, a vegetable salad, & whatever was left over, finishing with ice cream. Bill returned later that evening from his business trip, so I had an opportunity to see him before I left the next day. After 5 days & nights at Nancy’s & Bill’s in Oakland, I would be moving to my friends’ home in Hayward, south of Oakland. Saturday morning, 19 June, I said goodbye to Bill, Nancy, Liz & Natalia, and the para-transit van took me to Sandee’s & Ron’s house.

Sandee Yarlott & Ron Stief & I had met at PSR; they were studying for their Master’s of Divinity degrees & I was studying for my doctorate in Systematic Theology. Sandee, from Iowa, was raising her son & was a single mom; Ron was from Montana. They became my students when I served as Teaching Assistant to Dr. Robert McAfee Brown of Blessed Memory; they became a couple; and the 3 of us became good friends in large part because of our shared commitment to peace & justice, all within a few months. We shared a house in Oakland for 2 years in the mid-1980’s. Both Sandee & Ron had been ordained in the United Church of Christ; Sandee then became a hospital chaplain, director of Clinical Pastoral Education, and, in her final position prior to retirement, director of Pastoral Care at UCLA Hospital. Ron continued his work in economic justice through a number of church-affiliated organizations. For nearly 10 years, Ron had lived in Washington, DC while Sandee had lived in Southern CA. They both had moved back to the Bay Area in the fall of 2009 once Sandee had retired.

A Testimonial: I Have Incredible Friends!! First, Nancy & Bill. Nancy & Bill had invited me to stay with them during my visit before they knew that the weekend I arrived, they would have a “full house,” with lots going on & lots of guests. They made sure I knew that it was fine for me to show up on Monday, even though Nancy’s 2 sons, Jeremy & Daniel, would be there. They opened their comfortable & very happy home to me for 5 wonderful days. Second, Sandee & Ron: In the month of June, Sandee & Ron had made plans to have a short vacation in Hawaii & then to go to Florida for the birthday of one of their granddaughters. Sandee & I had coordinated dates so that I would be able to see them, staying with them beginning the day after they returned from Florida. At the time, they were living in a 2-bedroom apartment in Hayward, 1 mile from the Hayward BART station. Then they found out that a house they had been hoping to rent was available & that their rental application had been accepted. They had barely a week-long window between Hawaii & Florida in which to move, & they would be returning from Florida with most of their unpacking still to be done. They couldn’t pass up the house, so they signed the lease. Sandee emailed me that it would be fine for me to stay with them still, that we could talk while she unpacked. And that’s what we did, since neither of us wanted to miss the opportunity to see one another, nor did I want to bypass the chance to see Ron. I don’t know anyone who would want a houseguest under either set of circumstances, yet my friends welcomed me with incredible tenderness & love. I have incredible friends. Thank you, Nancy & Bill & Sandee & Ron!!!

The 2-story house Sandee & Ron rented is truly wonderful. Set high in the Hayward Hills, it has a view of San Francisco Bay facing west & a view of the hills facing east. It has 4 bedrooms, one of which is now Sandee’s study; 3 full baths; a great kitchen; a patio out the back door; a working fire place in the living room; a laundry room; & big garage. It also has fruit trees – apple, lemon, lime, apricot – vegetable garden, herb garden, & even grape vines! In the front by the house is a small tiled area with 2 chairs & a table for morning coffee, framed by a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. With its big windows & high ceilings, it is filled with light. I could see why they loved it & couldn’t pass it up; I loved it & could have stayed there a very long time.

Late that morning, while Ron went to 2 farmers’ markets & to the airport to pick up Janet, Sandee’s sister (who I knew from the time Sandee, Ron, Sandee’s son Ryan & I shared a house), Sandee gave me a tour of the house & got me settled. Then she & I talked, getting caught up as we unpacked boxes. We continued talking & unpacking boxes, adding Ron & Janet once they arrived, finding items that were needed (such as towels). Then, in the early evening, Ron grilled fish & we all prepared & ate a delicious dinner, finishing with more conversation in the living room.

The next morning the 4 of us went out to breakfast to mark Fathers’ Day, eating at a terrific restaurant at Jack London Square in Oakland. Once we finished eating, we headed for the large farmers’ market that stretched for several blocks. We bought some terrific tomatoes, a round green squash to grill, cucumber for salad, and a bunch more stuff. We then returned to Hayward where Ron worked on the watering system for the gardens & Sandee, Janet & I helped unpack & set up Sandee’s office. Later, we made dinner & talked for a long while about all kinds of ideas & topics – pets, families, writing, ministry (Janet is a retired military chaplain), my eventual move back to the Bay Area. It was a quiet and very supportive evening for my last evening in the Bay Area.

The next morning, after a quick shower & breakfast, I finished packing & waited until the para-transit van showed up to take me back to Oakland Airport & my flights back to the East Coast. Saying goodbye & leaving were very difficult & painful, saved only by the thoughts that were going through my mind: “I’ll be back. One of these days, I’ll come back for good; this is home for me, & I’ll be back. I love this area, these cities, these streets; I love the people who are my friends, my community, who live here, the ones I saw & those I didn’t get to see on this visit. I’ll be back to visit, &, someday, I’ll be back for good. I don’t know when, but I’m coming back, coming home.” I arrived home at 1:45 a.m. Tuesday, 22 June, after a 2+ hour delay at the airport; my cats, Spooky & Geoffrey, were ecstatic to have me back home. And I was definitely very happy to be back home with them.

Note: Along with incredible friends, I have an equally incredible mother, sister, & brother-in-law. The original idea for me to visit the Bay Area came from my sister, Andi, who lives in Seattle, WA. She & my mother decided that the trip would be their gift to me for my 60th birthday. My mother financed the venture, and Andi, with help from her partner, Stuart, did tons of research, made my airline reservations, & provided tons of logistical information, help, & support. Thank you, Mom, Andi, & Stuart!!!! I love you!!!! I definitely have an incredible family!!!!

This is the end of the "travelogue." Within the next couple of days, I'll be posting some closing thoughts about the trip and include some links to a number of the places I mentioned, e.g., Pacific School of Religion, Newman Hall / Holy Spirit Parish, etc., so anyone reading will be able to see the places I've been. I apologize that it didn't occur to me to do that as I wrote the story each day! Thank you for reading about my Bay Area adventures; I hoped you've enjoyed them! Much Shalom and Blessings to All.